sketch-do-vinny:

WHO DID THIS???! IS AMAZING!!!!!

sketch-do-vinny:

WHO DID THIS???!
IS AMAZING!!!!!

I imagine this must be how Ruth Bader Ginsburg feels about her colleagues right about now.

I imagine this must be how Ruth Bader Ginsburg feels about her colleagues right about now.

Colors of the Thirst

So, I wrote a song parody.  It’s called “Colors of the Thirst.”  Here ya’ go.

You think we’re promiscuous faggots,
And you’ve seen so many homos,
I guess it must be so,
But still I cannot see if the thirsty ones are we,
How can there be such cock that you’ve not blown, you’ve not blown?

You think you’ll tap whatever hole you land on,
A bottom’s just a lil’ thing you can claim,
But I know every bear and twink and fairy,
Knows a dyke, has a penis, has a flame,
You think the only homos who are people are the homos who act and dress like “dudes,”
But if you spread your legs for damn fine strangers,
You’ll feel things that OH MY GOD you never knew.

Have you ever fucked a closet case ‘til blue balls ensue?
Or asked a creepy old queen why he’s here?
Can you throw shade with the drama of the homos?
Can you fuck with all the colors of the thirst?
Can you fuck with all the colors of the thirst?

Come play around the backrooms of the night clubs,
Come taste the cum-sweet semen of a schlong,
Come roll in all the bed sheets of our bedrooms,
And for once, never wonder if it’s wrong.

The Gaga and the RuPaul are our lovers,
The hunties and the otters are the best,
And we are all connected inside each other,
By orgasms, from spit-roast cycles that never end.

How large does the male penis grow?
You should blow it now, or you’ll never know.

And you’ll never feel the throbbing of your prostate grow,
For whether we are gay or curious,
We need to throw shade with the drama of the homos,
Need to fuck with all the colors of the thirst.

You can plow a bro and still,
All you’ll plow are bros until…
You can fuck with all the colors of the thirst.

—Will Fitzell, 01/14/2014

clannyphantom:

"free shipping"

image

"…on orders over $100"

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heartless:

fashionofthenight:

Nicki Minaj calling out Perez Hilton on his lies.

I’m sick of you printing lies!

you can tell he got so scared
yes Nicki

MARRY ME NICKI MARRY ME NOW

Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.
Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.
A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
Russia: You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.
PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.
Hussie: You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.
Romney: You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
Once-ler: You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere
Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
Also Tumblr: I give you a hamburger.
Night Vale: You do NOT have two cows. Cows do not exist. What's a cow? Show me a cow! That's not a cow! Who let you in here?
Cows: The shit you go through.
This post: Started off as a post that explained different goverments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked

drdauntless:

becks28nz:

Doctor Who Fans by Dorkly

#is it weird that I’m like half of those

#VENUS

#VENUS

fuckyeahladygaga:

Submitted by TheLucifer92